Fading Away....

Everything crush on me in few weeks time? It's gone and It's back again, really changed my whole life. I dont know whats yours doing to me. Heart beats in me & now im using like i bleed! Turning everywhere and nothing seems to be finish. I tried to stand up and search for the better part of me. I breath in the moment & slave to humanity. I grabbed everything and do it myself like i always thought im a supergirl. No, i want everything to be perfect thats why i choose to solo and now everyone thinks that im IT genius. Go & Die! I learn everything by myself. Genius? No such things! You put in effort and you'll get what you want. You dont put & you wont get. I cant handle my things well. I started to get weak with everything. Im too naive or you can say im too kind. Yes.. I did a lot things and end up i get nothing. 9 out of 10 will say "why you're doing so much of things? then end up you get nothing. you think they'll appreciate what you do? who cares? you're like those workers who work behind the scene. You think they'll know your hard work?" I always wonder... I dont know. I cant stand the pain & I cant make it go away. I try to make a sound but no one hears me. Im hanging by a thread. I can't erase the things in my mind. I just dont know why every frustrated things come to me in few months time. I wont give up till it's over.


I realize that with you is where i rather be, there's so many things I want you to know but how? Regret that i never appreciate you when you're still with me. I cant calm myself down which you always do. ARGHH! Sick of this life! 
but when i think positively....................


Time is like a river.
You cant touch the same water twice 
Because the flow that has passed will never pass again..
Enjoy every moment of your life.


Im so random right? YK taught me a lot of things. He said "you'll definitely think negatively when you're depressed. but... after that, please think positively. you'll get what i mean and learn some lessons. want to be a great architect isnt as easy as abc but im happy with my architect life. so... think positively, girl!" you know what i reply him? "eh, you're crazy!" ><  


Do more so you'll get more.
who knows tomorrow or next week or next month or next year i will get a message like
"hey! are you free to do....................."
"eh... i need your help......................"
bla bla bla those kind of message? hahahaha....


*look at my report card*
"wow.. the worst result i never had before!" monolog dalaman xD
yea. i know. very obvious la.. my ICT sub.. from 80+ drop until 50+
i admit i never study well for my mid term.
trying very hard to settle all my problems.... 


want to play GunBound desperately! ='(
but i promised myself no more games until i finish spm. 
nah!! this is 1 of the reason la.. ma de....

The Sad but Happy/ Happy but Sad Kid. =O