Fatal Flawed

Hello there, sorry for the abrupt disappearance and this will be a long update. I was having tests and quite busy with my life. Ended my mgt, gns and enl test. Kinda satisfied with my performance and i done it with no regrets. One more to go this friday, csc. Say good luck to me! Ahhh.. you might be thinking why im blogging here and not studying. I clicked into my blog, i felt guilty to left it dead. Heeeee!

Anyway, im back and healed. At least for now, my life is alright, everything is going on steadily, comfort, chilling, not very lofty but i am content with it. Enthusiasm is always around me, killing fraughts that sometimes ravel my life. Hmm... perhaps a petty of music, care and love is all i need. Special thanks to my friends here. Hugs and kisses from them always healed me.

Let's talk about my birthday and some random friends. I stayed back at hostel to prepare and finished up my assignments.

KherYi, Vivian, Jamie, Vince and PakKhan came all the way from Puchong to gave me a surprise. Yeahhhh.. KherYi finally success after years failing on me. They bought me Starbucks, Snowflakes, Chatime and a random Cheesecake from RT Pastry. I had an awesome and dinner with them. You guys are just simply amazing! Made my 18th birthday not lonely and awesome! Well, i salute KherYi's braveness for contacting stranger. Janice, the "manly" who helped them to success in this. She is just too manly for me. LOL

This little frog with the lucky charm is just too cute for me! It's from my baobei, Fox. Thank you for getting me such cute stuff but it's just too small for me. As you know how rude i am but i'll try my best to keep it safely and not to lost it. hehe. I realized that i've been using her name as my password since Form 3 or 4? Gahhhh.. No idea. She know i loves her and i know she loves me too lol. I know.. i know!! sometimes i treated her badly or perhaps naughtily. Dump her and so on depends on my mood. Anyhow, may this froggy brings me luck like the colors of rainbow appeared in a sudden!

A blink of an eye, he's back from Melbourne. Just another surprise for me. Thank you for calling me up. We'd make things right and i understand why he treated me like that. I wanna apologize to him for being such a pain in the bum for the entire 2years+. Life still goes on no matter what happens. I dont know how to help you but all I can say is this. The decision is still yours to make. If you feel tired of life, im always here. Dont stress out yourself till you have no idea what yourself is doing. Chillax abit aye? I promised i'll head to your place perhaps Starbucks or Prince Restaurant or any cafes there again this weekend before you fly back. Please do take care and keep in touch. No matter what i’ll still be there to support ya. Past is still the past, but im glad to have you as my friend. My pleasure. Dont give up, someday your dreams will come true as what you taught me.

Im happy again! 
Alright, that's all for today. Nights lovely people!

I love you all. Thanks for reading too! Much appreciate your patience! :)

With Loves,

CPL =)

Futile recession of life

Holla peeps! All the sudden i totally felt so bad and impulsively stopped everything. I got very tired of living in the realm of people. My apologies for those who compulsively busted my phone, numerous calls and crazy texts. I felt all of your concern and care of me and some of you even ditched me up. Lol. SORRY GUYS. >.< and my phone, as for those who called, sorry that i didnt pick up and those who text, my phone still runs dry for a week so i couldnt manage to reply. Yes, im somehow caging myself. I hear voices of people, the annoying, disturbing, the nagging, the chatter, the trouble. Everytime, i close my eyes. I guess i had enough and i do thirst for a breach.

Here am i, speeching to an empty crowd, and myself on stage. Life isnt about pursuing what you want, neither to wait, is to cheer up in every circumstances. Days are better now, so dont worry people. Just give me a little more time okay? Will be very very busy with my tests and assignments BLAH.

I’ll be back, soon. ;)

With Loves,

CPL =)

STFU is best way to keep secrets or whatsoever

YEAH
i broke down in a sudden
since last week

i couldnt recall anything
no sign of recognition of everything
sitting in the bus and stared straight to the road
driving on the road with the damn lost brain
walking with a direction-senseless-brain
i gotta spell my sentiments

right here, again

i can see the evolve of life
like a cocoon breaking free into a butterfly

i wondered for an instant
and thoughts were talking to each other

i saw a family
playing badminton at the field
cherishing meanwhile

people change sometimes 

in a impulsive way

after the departure of the loved ones

things really started to mess up

i wanna spend time with you all

i really do

i always wanted to have a good chat

but why you keep on scolding me when im homed

doesnt matter im sitting at home or i hang out with friends

i dont really consider sitting together for 10 minutes or asking how are you 

IS CARING

so i try and plan so hard to hang out with my friends

which i do really found myself being cared

although they're leaving gradually

one by one

fewer and fewer

or perhaps

you consider scolding or nagging is caring

but i'll just shut the fuck up and keep it all to myself

whatever

BUT ANYWAY

i still gotta go on with life

im just trying to render my thoughts

yet this is not the trivial matters of life

which makes me feel so empty

With Loves,

CPL =)

the empty downtown of mine

in this abandoned place

a remote room

here sits a blank mind

wondering and asking herself of what is happening

nothing seemed to come and go 

like a dead road

i could hardly retain the colour of the wall

strong pure white as it was 

but i could see only pale

dwindling white

 fading away

my brain had lost the meaning of the word

i just dont see it

i could scarcely breathe that i felt lonely

i've never let myself down being optimistic and happy

feeling so empty this few days

but who would bother worry bout a pathetic

i dont know

but this is the only place i can spill my feelings 

theres nobody who really look you in the eyes 

and ask you truly whats with you

no one 

and i swear

so much for being a good friend after all 

i think i had all these figured out

that i would just shut the fuck up and keep everything to myself

 cause i cant really trust anyone 

like or love anyone no more 

its time for me to grow up 

so screw all these

sleep shall amend everything

but not till you open your eyes and see again 

i cried, i bruised, for NOTHING

here comes the insomnia

again

With Loves,

CPL =)

im lost without a cause

I lay myself down on the bed

with the damn lost brain

i know

only heaven would hears me now

lost touch of my soul

no idea where to run

question marks all over my brain

Storms had come

and darkened my shinning sun

I wonder

when will the true colors will shine on me

I dont know what to do

when the night falls on me

standing at the cross road

and dont know which direction to choose

I always wished someone like him

would see through me

and i've been through all the pain

but who's on the earth i can turn to

With Loves,

CPL =)